Physical pleasure is a sensual experience no different from pure seeing or the pure sensations with which a fine fruit fills the tongue; it is a great unending experience, which is given us, a knowing of all the world, the fullness and the glory of all knowing.

—Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet


In a monogamous relationship, you should treat each other like gods, with total trust and devotion.

Together, you need to ensure that your household runs harmoniously – tidying the rooms, cleaning the floors, doing the laundry, arranging flowers, watering the plants, feeding the cat, and so on.

Be considerate to your partner’s family.

If you’ve got a garden, plant vegetables and herbs you can eat, plus sweet-smelling flowers and aromatic or ornamental plants.

Grow spinach, fennel, cumin, cinnamon, ginger, jasmine, valerian, amaranth, or whatever else is suitable to your soil and climate.

When it comes to food, figure out what you both like and what’s good for you.

If your partner does something you don’t like, wait until you’re alone to discuss it, don’t criticize them in public.

If you need to reproach your partner, do so without exaggeration or drama, without resorting to bad language, and always be sure to maintain eye contact.

Guard against body odor and food stuck between your teeth, because you want to stay attractive to each other!

When you go out together, dress elegantly but not flamboyantly. Save your best outfits, jewels and perfumes for each other, when you want to make love.

If one of you adopts a special diet or decides to abstain from something, the other one should do so, too, because you are bound to one another and should support each other.

Buy salt, oil, and spices and keep them in jars in a place where they won’t go off.

Buy seeds so that you can sow them in season: radish, ginger, sweet potatoes, beetroot, cucumber, aubergines, marrows, squashes, yams, gourds, garlic, onions, and herbs.

Excel at gardening, cooking, DIY, life administration, and other household skills. Don’t discuss your wealth with others nor disclose each other’s counsel.

Calculate your household income and adjust your expenditure accordingly.

Recycle and reuse whatever you can. Make butter from leftover milk, molasses from sugar, oil from seeds, cloth from threads, and so on.

Reuse both the cooking water and the charcoal from the fire.

Mend worn out clothes, give them away if you don’t need them, or use them for cleaning rags if they’re fit for nothing else.

Keep a stock of fine wines and spirits, in case you need them, and keep tabs on their prices as you buy and sell them.

If your partner’s friends come round, greet them warmly and in accordance with their customs.

Be circumspect in dealing with your partner’s family: speak softly, laugh moderately, disagree gently.

Don’t give away anything of value without consulting with your partner first.

If you have domestic staff, instruct them clearly, ensure they work hard, treat them considerately and respect their holidays and days off.

Be beyond reproach
Regardless of your background.
Pleasure, power, purpose
Flow to proper conduct
As does a faithful spouse.


If you introduce more people into the relationship, welcome the new partners warmly into your household and be affectionate with their children, if they have any.

You should treat your family and all your partners’ families equally.

Never show greater affection to one partner over another.

If you’re having sex with one partner, do it in a place where your other partners can hear, so you’re not doing it behind their backs.

If the incoming partner is submissive, tell them what to do, e.g. when they can and can’t have sex with you.

If the incoming partner is dominant and you don’t want to be dominated, treat them like you would a younger sibling and gain their respect by showing them the ropes of the household and by covering their back.

Be discreet with each other’s confidences and do not repeat them outside the house.

If one of your partners is making trouble for you, sort it out, don’t complain to the others.

If one of your partners shows you special affection, keep it to yourself, don’t boast.

Show compassion to all your partners and flatter everyone.

Be affectionate to all your lovers, be courteous with their staff and have fun with their friends.

If you have a skill that one of your lovers doesn’t have, teach it to them.

If you enjoy many lovers
Treat them equitably.
Don’t overlook one
While you favor another.

Never share a secret
Treasure private pleasures
Disclose nothing vulgar
Treat kinks with discretion.

Deny a roof to discord
Remand each reprimand
Urge every reproach
Own its own shadow.

Shower one with public praise
One with secret kisses
One with gifts and luxuries
In short: keep everybody happy.

Promenades, picnics
Parties, balls
Romps in the garden
Trysts by the wall.

If you can do all this
You’ll soothe every heart
Preserve peace in your
Complicated household.